Paper Kindling.

You know that moment in a project when you're like, Yeah, this isn't working. And you're tempted to scrap the whole thing and start over? Only, you've already put so much work into it that trashing the whole project feels a bit like homicide and starting over a bit like pulling teeth?

This was my struggle for the last couple weeks. 

As a writer, specifically an author of fiction, I get to these points in a story when I wonder what in the world I was thinking. The plot is all over the place and I can't get a read on the characters. The beginning was great. I was inspired and the words flowed out like water. But 20,000 words in (essentially 40 pages of a book),... I think I have never hated a story more. 

I have a feeling this problem plagues more than just writers. No matter what our craft is, at some point, we all want to tear the pages into teeny tiny pieces and use the scraps for kindling. <<< or is that just me?

Well, since you asked, here's how the problem worked out:

I tried a new thing. It's ground breaking folks, at least for me, so hang with me on this...

I kept going. (I know. Mind officially blown. <<< no sarcasm here. I won't tell you how many files are stored on my desktop... books I started and walked away from.)

I ended up pressing delete more than any other key, I re-wrote a few scenes, scrapped others. I started with 17,748 words written and at the end of the day finished with 16,378.  Looks like I'm moving in the wrong direction, but now I actually HAVE a clear direction to move in. I can move past the problem because I took the time to re-evaluate what I had in front of me. It was not easy deleting entire scenes. I hesitated. (My son loves that word right now. He'd be really excited I used it. He asks me questions then says, "You hesitated." Thank you, Olaf.)

Yes, I hesitated, but once the task was done, it felt oddly FANTASTIC. Yes. It felt empowering. No longer was I bond to loyalty to the words I'd written. I was in charge. I chose who stayed and who went. I felt like this guy: 

And I may have done a few impersonations. 

At the end of the day, I walked away feeling like I'd grown as a writer. It takes a while to get comfortable with the process of revising. But if I ever want to accomplish anything as a writer, I have to accept that everything that my fingers type is not instant gold. And I have to learn to push forward and stick with a project; to see it to completion. 

So there that. :)